I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
