In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
