Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
