are you still at the devil's house?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize