Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We're too hungover to prance.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
