I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
