xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
