Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
