I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
