So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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