You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
