A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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