you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
