I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize