It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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