he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
