I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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