That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
