he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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