Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
