yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
