the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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