Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize