i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
