So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
