help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
