I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
