I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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