Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
grandma shit on top of the toilet
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
