Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
