I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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