but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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