need another drink. this is the easiest way
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
