youre lurking in front of me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
