So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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