is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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