You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
