i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
