And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
