I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
