Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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