i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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