If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
