Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
