you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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