Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
