he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
