I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
