butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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