Moan for me like Helen Keller
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
