it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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