After last night, I could never be a politician.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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