and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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