you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
