Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
