I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
