Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
