That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
