What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize