pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
