my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
